I would suggest going through the dev journals, there are a lot but there is a lot to the game and a lot of answers you get might have bits wrong, or will reference some dev quote from discord/irc/something and...well it just gets messy.
But is it worth it? Comes down to you really, I pledged Astronomer but I think this game has the potential to be what I have been waiting for for...well years and years. So 350 is a small price to pay if it helps develop my gaming messiah.
As for your wife and towns, you could potentially end up having towns near one another, but you won't know until land selection. Now one of you could sell your title when they start allowing it and gain EP for buying lands and buildings during exposition, and then when you guys marry in game you could split the title that you kept.
How it will work for Astronomer tier is we will select our town during Land Selection, at some point we will pick the family within the town and make it our own (we can change the surname thanks to one of the perks we will be getting), and then during Expo we will be buying lands and setting up the town.
Though truth be told we don't really know how everything is going to work, and everything can change this early on.