I used Helgrim Enterprises Legal division cause I had long term payments but I needed cash now. Its my money, I should be able to use it when I need it....

I was going to use Helgrim Enterprises Legal Division, but they wanted 30% of my earnings!

I found the removal of heads to be a significantly more equitable solution.

I'm a Vornair Citizen

I went to Helgrim Enterprises in Vornair to ask them about the best place to invest money

they swore on their mother's life that there was a Nigerian Prince who was legitimate and just needed a short term loan from me that would be repaid back many times over

Am still waiting

Helgrim Enterprises no longer return my calls

I recently fell over and hurt my hip during a work place incident. Can Helgrim Enterprises Legal help me make a claim?

I was exposed to Elyrian asbestos for 20 years working in the shipyards, and I've been diagnosed with Mesothelioma!

Helgrim Enterprises got me security and peace of mind! (...and now, I can buy that seaside duchy! Thanks, "Doc"...)

Posted By DennisThePeasant at

I can't believe the way I've been treated in the company of those at Bordweall, it's incredible how much the nobility likes to extort their workers and subjugate their citizens... People over there think that the lords are there to protect us and such but we've been living in what we true Elyrians at Vornair would call a dictatorship.

Don't believe me?

It's okay, I would be hesitant to believe I was betrayed by the nobility as well but it's happened to me so what's going to stop it from happening to you?

I'm just glad the Helgrim Enterprises Legal division was able to show me how much I was being mistreated. You shall all be drowned in the power of our paperwork! Our clauses are infallible, our loopholes have lopholes, you'll never win. Down with Bordweall!!!

This guy should be banned, clearly he created a troll account and is just trolling the community.

He is trolling, even his name is Denis the Menace resemblance.

another retarded drama lamma dramalamablahblahblahblah

Oh goodie. Please contact me for a personal interview in the Bordweall Chronicles! Your story simply MUST be heard! I am sure it is truly heart wrenching and terrible!!!

I lost my county, my home, and my family due to my excessive drinking and gambling problem. Can Helgrim use some of their exotic loopholes to help me get everything back?

I heard that the Helgrim Legal Division's "...clauses are infallible..." and their "...loopholes have loopholes..."

ps - The only thing I don't want back is my wife. I'll take a new one. Thanks Helgrim Legal Division. You're the best.

                                                    -King Henry Tudor

I agree.... Bordweall just sounds terrible... especially this crazy county linked below.... definitely don't join them.... definitely...

https://chroniclesofelyria.com/forum/topic/19412/the-county-of-morporkia-calls-for-aid#post209365

The OP forgot about our peasant-oppression mandate. Easy mistake.

Due to the recent "vacancy" mentioned above by OP..

Please feel free to stop by and visit any of the Counts below for an exciting new opportunity that just opened up!

Click the image for direct links to each county =D

Loopholes are void because they do not have loopholes. In your document you listed them as having lopholes, which unfortunately for you means you now owe the nobility $10,000.

[]

For the record... I am Count Molara, lol. Also, Morporkia is willing to allow the first 5 mayoral recruits entry into our loophole forgiveness program*. Act now before it is too late!

*Mayoral Forgiveness program is subject to loopholes, take back, forgetfulness, prima nocta, and aristocratic abuse. Sign at your own risk, or not because no one ever reads the small print anyways....