COMMUNITY - FORUMS - THE TAVERN
[SATIRE] The Real Player^TM's Guide to Community Management

(This is satire)

Alright punks, there's something I have to talk to you about. Recently some newb-lovers in the kingdom that I joined (not telling which, but it's the best, believe me) were saying that we need to make CoE communities more "newb-friendly." This is stupid as shit. To set these idiots straight, I'm going to be giving a guide onto how communities of Real Players^TM should behave.

  1. Don't put up with the antics of newbs. You've been part of your groups for more than a year, why should you have to bend over and cater to some dumbass who isn't versed in all your totally awesome conventions and lacks all your glorious knowledge and experience. I mean, you are objectively the best at everything CoE-related.

  2. Only MMO gamers are Real Players^TM of CoE. Oh what, some people who haven't played MMOs before but are attracted to CoE because of its unique features are now bothering you by daring to join your group? Fuck them. CoE is for experienced MMO players only, you got that? So if you haven't had fun times in a guild, grinded through the leveling process 10 times, or pulled off a hundred raids, GTFO right now, newb. If you are a Real Player, then get rid of that newb right now because they're just dragging you down by being fresh.

  3. You already built up a bunch of conventions and rules for your community, so don't make them clear to anyone joining your group, okay? Real Players^TM are masters of social interpretation and can fit in with a new group perfectly, but a newb is just going to blunder around. In fact, why do you have to tell anyone that they're making mistakes at all? If they are a Real Player^TM, they'd immediately know what they're doing wrong. No, you see, if someone's making mistakes, it means they're actually a newb, so what you do is you pretend that they're doing nothing wrong and that everything is fine, and then when they make a bigger mistake than usual you blow up and tell them that they've been behaving badly for a long time without explaining how and then ban them 'cause they're just another fucking newb.

Okay, that's all for now, Real Players^TM. Now you know how perfect you and your communities are and how to deal with newbs.

Edit 1: Pointed out that this is satire in the main body.

7/16/2017 10:39:30 PM #1

Need a hug?

7/16/2017 10:45:43 PM #2

Posted By Shrewdcrow at 6:39 PM - Sun Jul 16 2017

Need a hug?

(Yes, yes I do)

7/16/2017 11:06:19 PM #3


7/16/2017 11:10:25 PM #4


"Pledged to the betterment of the Studio and CoE through realistic, open, honest communication about what players can and will do with the mechanics you give them."

Come follow me on Twitch for CoE News and general hangout stuff n things! https://www.twitch.tv/adamrhyne

7/17/2017 12:30:32 AM #5

Show me on the doll where the bad man touched you.

7/17/2017 1:31:51 AM #6

people seem to miss the [SATIRE] part at the very start of the topic, which in turn makes their comments [IRONIC]

:P


7/17/2017 1:45:47 AM #7

Posted By Dleatherus at 03:31 AM - Mon Jul 17 2017

people seem to miss the [SATIRE] part at the very start of the topic, which in turn makes their comments [IRONIC]

:P

just realised I had missed it.. Reading it with completely different eyes now, thanks!


7/17/2017 2:11:52 AM #8

It would help if these newbs enjoyed the same breakfast foods as the rest of us

Imgur


7/17/2017 3:48:59 PM #9

If newbs want to be serious about CoE, they should have heard about it months ago instead of recently.


NA-W "Angelica"

7/17/2017 3:54:38 PM #10

[]


7/24/2017 7:44:50 PM #11

HAha, tear'


When I am lost, I know I have traveled the farthest. Sayeth the guy jeff. 49F48A =FC

7/25/2017 1:51:49 AM #12

This is beautiful.


ref This game was a dream. Its dead now.