Don't know, but I imagine you'd be able to keep either name. Marrying in should be a two way thing. Marriages are alliances not take overs. The idea of marrying in to something is just a way of talking about what one of the parties gains - but both are marrying in to something.

In addition to what Alricj already mentioned, men and women have been stated to be equal in the world of CoE, as opposed to the still wide-spread patriarchy in our reality.

Your first question was in a Q&A last year in january. You can read the transcript here or see here.